About three months ago, I decided to watch “Girls” for almost the first time as a 33 year old…woman. A word I still can’t come to terms with because – after all – I’m just a girl. Anyway, I say “almost” because back in 2016 I made it through about 10 minutes of the first episode and said “I cannot handle these people.” My higher/future self was looking out for me because in hindsight watching this show in my 30s was a much more enjoyable experience.

At 24, everything would have hit way too close to home. The friendships, the experiences, the trying to figure life out – it would have been way too relatable for me at that time. Instead, watching this show as a 30-something brought laughs, nostalgia, tears and a whole lot of contemplation. It also came with the realization that even though you might have your life “figured out” you never really do. Nothing stays stable for long. At any moment someone or something is coming around the corner to turn everything upside down.

Life being turned upside down is not always a bad thing – even though in some moments it may seem that way. Sometimes the most painful revelations can lead to groundbreaking realizations. Sometimes we don’t even know how strongly we’re being pulled down until we free ourselves from the weight.

Over the last five years, the times when I’ve felt most stable and secure with my future were the times when the other shoe dropped. From Covid putting my career plans on hold to thinking I was getting married, the things that came along that were unwelcome at the time have instead directed me to a new and different path.

This is not to say that the other shoe will always be waiting to drop or that we should live our lives in fear that the good can only come with the horrible. And this is me speaking to myself just as much as you because I have been that girl. I have spent too much of the good times in my life feeling like a storm cloud full of bad news was right behind me.

As the series carries on, it’s easy to see that the girls don’t end up with lives that they thought they would. However, I argue that they seem to be at least content with where they’ve landed OR where they are headed. One of the biggest takeaways from the show for me is – perhaps the things we dream of having or being look much different in practice. We have grand plans for our lives and yet, the reality of it all can greatly affect whether or not we will see them through.

I don’t find this to be a bad thing and I actually don’t hate how the show ended – despite much internet debate. The final episodes of such an incredible and smart show are realistic as fuck. Because sometimes we do lose friends. Without notice, people do change their minds. Sometimes we give up on the dreams that aren’t realistic or don’t matter to us anymore regardless of the sunk cost. And that is just life. It’s not sad, it’s not depressing it’s just what life pushes us to be.

With this post, I did not set out to wrap up my feelings about this show in a nice little box with a cute little bow and put it up on a shelf. Nor do I feel like I’ve done anything close to that over the last several paragraphs. I would definitely consider this stream of conscious. Maybe this is just praise for a show that made me feel so many things and did not tie everything up with a cute little box itself.

In time and with experience, perhaps I will see parts of this show in a different light. I already know a re-watch is in my future but I’ll be saving that for a time when I know I really need it. Life is dynamic and the plot twist just might be up around the corner.